M. Reluctantly twenty-two. Occasionally drunk, sometimes disorderly, usually confused and increasingly incoherent.


i woke up like dis


I feel nothing
but pain for the past
trying to separate
like old clothes
crumbling in a chest
what does not last
from what I can keep
trying to understand
how I fell
so short of what I intended
to do with my life.
How life twists and turns
against us. How a childhood
is not really understood
until it is lived
a second time
in memory.
How wonderful
and how terrible
it seems now
because it is gone
and because it was mine.

—Sarah Brown Weitzman, from “Looking Back" (via mitochondria)

tried and tested routine for dealing with recurring episodes of severe abdominal pain (of mysterious origin):

  • ignore it out of stubbornness and the futile hope that a lack of acknowledgement will make it go away
  • do deep breathing; try to ‘force’ body into relaxing
  • take two panadol and a neurofen
  • lie down in the dark with a hot water bottle and try to find a position in which the pain is lessened; end up writhing around hopelessly and swearing in frustration
  • trigger back pain with said writhing
  • take a hot shower, then go and lie down again
  • get frustrated; get up again and do stretches
  • take two more panadol and another neurofen
  • run a hot bath and lie in it until the water begins to cool and the pain, for the most part, finally leaves (usually around five hours after it came)
  • trudge back to bed and pass out in exhaustion and borderline-blissful relief; sleep for about seven hours


Dress- Dots

Lipstick - MELT cosmetics



Hello everyone,

My family and I are struggling right now. My stepdad just lost his job, and we rely on his income. We’re trying to stay in our home, afford the basic necessities, and buy life-sustaining medications. If you can give any amount of money to help, I would deeply appreciate it.

Click here to donate

All the best,


This is a tough time in my life. If you can give anything, I’d be so grateful.